January 2, 2014
I remember my dream; I was embracing my sister and then she grew these huge teeth and started biting me! Yikes! If you haven't read my book (I'm offended!) you won't know that I haven't had any contact with my biological family really since I was about 17. I had momentary contact with the man I thought was my father when I was 21, only to find out that it is a biological impossibility that he was my father when I was in my early 40's! I have a brother either side of me so my Mother must have accidentally left the door open during her marriage so to speak! My parents (step father and biological mother, non biological pretend Father left when I was 6) left a lot to be desired as parents and without making this a boring kitchen sink drama they were eventually prosecuted for the way they treated their children.
So back to the dream about my sister. It got me thinking about my family and whether this was a warning? Did my spooks mean my biological sister was about to turn into a monster or is someone I consider close enough to be a sister is going to bite me on the ass? Both are prospects I don't relish as it means after more than 25 years there may be contact with my biological tribe or worse someone I love now is about to bare their fangs! Wait and see I guess. Such is my faith in the women I AM close to I can't think who it would be, but Arty assures me it's coming and in his own words "Totally unwarranted my dear." He's always there for me and sometimes I smirk to myself when I think I would die without him by my side! Think about it! What a silly thing to say, if I died I wouldn't be without him at all! Arty clearly told me he will be there to hold my hand when I pass over so death is not something I fear.
Thinking about the dream message; I can tell the difference now between the psychobabble of my subconscious and the interjections of spook; I thought of another vision a few days prior. Always before I go to sleep I thank my spooks and the universe then we have a bit of a chat about whatever. This particular night, and this is really cheating because it wasn't in 2014 it was just before Christmas 2013, I had a vision of my mother and a voice said to me "You are going to have to talk to her you know?" This lead me to remember something else my spooks had given me. When my paternal (remember, as it turns out she wasn't) grandmother died she came to me in spirit, instead of a loving reunion for us in the spirit realm, upon connecting with her I immediately screamed at her, "Why didn't you protect me?" Her husband, who passed long before her, was also an abusive pervert. I sense that my biological mother was and is ill and my spooks confirmed this as did a few other medium-friends. My spooks were warning me there was going to be a familial face off when she goes and if they were warning me then it can't be far away. The weight of knowing your own Mother is going to die would be traumatic and a burden for some people, but me I am just dreading that conversation. I understand a lot more about the "psychology of people" now I am older and have actually studied it and I am a firm believer that if a relationship is unhealthy no matter whom it is with, you have to fix it or leave it behind. I chose to leave it behind after my Mother sacrificed myself and my three siblings and sentenced us to formative years of abuse. Am I supposed to forgive her? Will I hinder her journey if I don't? "No, my dear" says Arty, "But she will have to do it all over again." I assumed he meant motherhood and for a second shuddered for the fate of her next-life children, she is going to have to keep doing it until she gets it right. God I hope she gets it right next time.
Back to the family theme; lying in bed I heard a little girl chattering and then I heard my name. As I heard it I thought this was me not a spook. A kind of projection of little me because of the recent thoughts in my head, I turned over to go to sleep and the same little voice said "No, it's not you it's me silly!" So it seems I got visited by a little girl last night, I think she was around 6 years old of recent times (1980's I feel she passed). I don't know who she is as I fell asleep before I could really connect, but I have a feeling she will be back soon! I made a promise to my spooks that if they are connected to someone on my Facebook page and they want to pass on a message I will do so. My general rule for new spooks is they have to say their name when they come in. Most of them ignore it or I miss it! Usually because I am not expecting it or I am half asleep but we will see how we go through the year.
I may not be able to put my family back together, but I hope we can help with yours.
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