Making Amends & Saving A Life

Thursday May 7, 2015 (It's been too long I know!)

Too many times we use spirit in readings to find out about us. Where is life going? Who is the man of my dreams. Here I want to tell you a couple of true stories about the more profound and possibly one of the real uses of spirit in our lives. If you have read my book, you will know the background, which we won’t go into here but these situations happened recently, post book.

Barry Gray and I were doing some on camera training for the new show. The only reading guinea pig available was little old me and you could hear them skeletons rattling in the closet almost immediately. We were only doing mediumship and working on the identification of spirits around others. Barry went gangbusters with the first few, and I was confident he had it all going on until he said he had an old man standing back who wanted to come in but wasn’t sure if he could. Flippantly I said bring him through, for a split second wished as he described him I wished he hadn’t but now I am so glad he did.

This man was a part of my life as a child and without a word of a lie, evil personified. I knew we were training and this was a professional environment so I couldn’t really react the way I wanted to as Barry spoke.  I white knuckled my way through it. I know for sure when we go over we have to review our lives and feel what we did to others good and bad and this man had clearly taken a fast track to purgatory after dropping dead in his own hallway thirty years or so ago. As a medium I knew how he felt and a few times he had come to me and I had ignored it and sent him away. He had no place in my thoughts, my memories and thank God, my life any more. Due to the situation I allowed him to speak through Barry. It wasn’t tearful or emotional, I was stoic, “Say what you have to say and get lost” was in my head. The more Barry went on the more understanding I had of this man and the things he did. He negatively affected generations of the family and it had all come home to roost. There were no heartfelt apologies though, it wasn’t like a tearful reunion at the airport with a long lost and loved relative; more a rather humble explanation of who he was in life, why he was in life and how death and the other side had treated him. Something went off in my head and I realised despite the damage, this man had also suffered (no excuse) and to an extent was continuing to because no one still living would forgive him. It was almost as if he was or is destined to wander the ethereal plane until someone found it in their heart to let him off the hook. The accuracies that Barry bought through were profound, undeniable and rang true without ambiguity.

I felt a weight lifting from me, and it stays away to this day as I now realise it really isn’t up to us to judge or to carry hatred and spite, the Universe takes care of that. Two nights later I heard the familiar wheeze and hack of the same spirit-man and a vague, emphysema soaked “thank you.” Instead I say thank you to him, because that connection and conversation seems to have released us both from a potential lifetime of negativity. We can still learn in spirit as we can in the human realm.

On another sad but turns happier note. I wanted Barry to read for a friend of mine. I won’t mince words, this friend was at risk of suicide and life seemed blacker than black with no way back for him and I was scared. I didn’t want to lose my friend and became a little neurotic about it. I wasn’t there when the reading happened but clearly Barry gave my friend enough validations and then enough hope for me to now have a much happier and more positive friend back and I love it. Did Barry and spirit save a life? Yes I know so and I thank them both for it.